I get those a lot. But today's ... today's "why am I so stupid" is ten times worse than the "I left my huge, 25% of my final grade bio paper till the last minute - why am I so stupid" or the "I just inhaled half a jar of peanut butter - why am I so stupid" and doesn't even compare to the "I just read three books when I should have been studying for finals - why am I so stupid".
(... on second thought, that last one wasn't so bad. Books always take priority in my life. And, hey, I still passed!)
I guess you're wondering right about now what exactly I did that was so stupid. Well, dear internet companions, I made the biggest fool of myself ever.
To tell you this story (I promise I'll try and keep it short. Stick to the details) I'll have to go back to the beginning of the school year.
So I kind of had this friend, and yes, he was a guy. Yes, he was pretty good looking, and maybe I fantasized a little about this friendship turning into something ... more. Things were going great too... er, sort of. If you can base a friendship off of texting every single day but rarely seeing each other in person. But considering I talked to him more than I ever talked to my ex-boyfriend when we were still dating, I thought it was pretty good. I mean, he even texted me first sometimes! That's never happened to me before!
So here we are and things are fine, but the BAM! Radio silence. I don't know what happened (actually, this was partially my fault but it's a really long story and I'd I probably bore your ears off).
Then he only started texting me when he was drunk. Not okay (this now justifies my part of the sudden silent treatment - again, long story). For a bit, I texted him back when he would drunk-text me. But then I gave up when at 2 am one morning I get a message that read "Ur hot." I don't know if he sent it or if one of his friend's sent it, but I had had enough.
And we haven't spoken since.
I see him around all the time (we have some of the same classed together), he just never see's me (the classes are really big... okay so maybe I'm looking for him. But is that so wrong? Part of me always hopes he is looking for me to. )
Cut to this afternoon when an unsuspecting Dare is trudging up the many staircases of the gym and guess who is walking down them. Guess who she nearly ran smack-dab into because she wasn't watching where she was going? Guess who, when she finally looked up, could only stare, slack jawed at. That's right: the boy she once had a
I swear it was the longest two seconds of my life. My brain was literally screaming "Say 'Hi'. You can't just stand there. Say SOMETHING!"
But I just couldn't form words. And then he walked on my, without saying anything. To make matters worse, I turned around once the shock had worn off. I wanted to amend this awkward encounter, but he was already gone, and he didn't look back.
The only good thing I could think of to say to myself during my run afterwards, as if it was any consolation, was at least I had run into him pre-work out, so my face wasn't all red and sweaty. Show him what he's missing...
Yeah, probably not.